This is possibly the most annoying feeling ever. Im sitting here wondering if im being irrational.
Ive always battled feeling inadequate and left out, and this being coupled with my relationship is really fucking with my emotions. These females in this office just wont leave him alone. Its like hes everyones little play toy to laugh with and talk to and ask favours of. Thats not his fucking role here, he is not your friend your buddy or your fucking pal.
Stop asking him to do things. I cant even explain how i feel exactly and ive always thought myself to be someone with a way with words…But seeing them talk and asking him to do little photoshoots and all sorts of fucking fukry just irks my last nerve. Call it jealousy or possessiveness but i really dont like how i feel.
Ive really been on the brink the last few days and its bothering me. And then i get mad at him about this and we start arguing about some non mother fukin factors. IM SO ANNOYED.
He doesnt get it, hes just being himself and being a nice guy, which i love him for. And im not afraid that ill lose him im just annoyed at these interactions.
Im annoyed that he chose to share a huge personal secret that only three persons alive know (i practically had to doctor phil it out of him) with one of these females.
Im annoyed that i dont do these things, i dont have these interactions, im sure hed be annoyed as fuck if he was in my shoes, feeling left out and shit.
Im annoyed that he doesnt get it. Hell im sure no one would get it. I dont even get it. If i even attept to explain it to anyone they would probably just tell me im jealous and irrational and childish. Which i might be but its how i feel.
Im just fucking tired of feeling this way, and resenting these people and arguing with him.
I just dont know what to do or how to handle it and thats what annoys me the most.
He and i spend way too much time together….like 24/7 and i suppose thats what has me so clingy and emotional about him doing other things with these people, namely these clingy ass female people. Like bitch he aint ur friend. Stop.
Fuck im a mess. I need some girl time.
I also think i need to write more, im bottling too much and its not good for my relationship or my sanity.
I hate everyone.